We Must Confront Our Bullshit

It’s been over a year now since it’s been just my daughter and our two dogs living under one roof together. I fought for almost two months to get my cheater husband to move out. He didn’t want to leave (nowhere to go, he said) and holy fuck, it was such an awkward and extremely stressful time in my life.

Actually, he was the bringer of stress and chaos, drama and bullshit, for many years. I put up with all of it because of 3 main reasons:

  1. He was the love of my life, wasn’t he?
  2. I’d invested so many years of my life to the relationship.
  3. I became complacent.

The level of stress in my life has gone down considerably since he’s been gone. That isn’t to say that I don’t continue to have stress, because that’s just a part of life.

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Ah, knowing when to stay or go. It’s different for everyone, I’d reckon.

I wish that I had kicked his ass out long before I did, but there’s no such thing as a time machine. If so, I’d have one in my bedroom.

He left behind tons of memories (good and awful) and I’m still in the process of sifting through them, one by one. Some people tell me to just forget about him, but I know that if I don’t allow myself to deal with these thoughts and emotions, I will never heal.

Um, I want to heal.

I will not do what I did the first time around when I left my daughters father and then proceeded to hit the floor running. That was part of the recipe for my 2011 mental breakdown.

We must confront our bullshit or else we’ll continue to step in it.

Abbey  11/29/18

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6 thoughts on “We Must Confront Our Bullshit

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  1. You have to do what’s best for you. Not everyone can deal with shit the same. I was like you. I had to deal with the memories, the good and bad times and the regret of not leaving sooner. Some can just walk away and say, eh, live and learn. We can’t. So we deal with the shit so we don’t step in it again. (I love that saying!) ❤

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  2. As Kenny Rogers said in the song the ‘Gambler’ “You got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em know when to walk away and know when to run.” You do whatever you need to keep you and yours on the path of happiness.

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